Jillytub Memorial Trophy

Late goals seal it for Dog as LG is left sick as puppy

Wandering Dog 17   Taxbore Wanderers 8

A game that ebbed and flowed was decided in the last four minutes of the weekend as Wandering Dog knocked out Taxbore Wanderers. Holebas was the first player to draw blood at around 4.45pm on Saturday when the full back scored his first goal for Dog. Then Dog's Alexander-Arnold and the Bores' Robertson traded punches with both assisting and then securing a clean sheet. Luiz added another clean sheet for LG to level the scores. A Mahrez assist (minus one point for De Gea who was on the receiving end) put the Taxbores a point in front but the in-form Martial edged Scott E's team back in front with a goal. With two points separating the sides and just four minutes to go it could have gone either way but Mkhitaryan and Gundogan (against De Gea) produced a final score that didn't paint a true picture of the game. So, the Dog triumphed and were the only team to beat a higher placed team in all four quarter finals games. It's been ten long years since Scott had his paws on a knockout trophy - could it be his year?

Fruitcake continues on road to world domination

Sardine City 2   Somerset Fruitcakes 8

This game had all the ingredients of a tasty dish but came out of the oven all bland. It was the SSPA champion against the SSPA leader, the ex-Tosspot winner against the new Tosspot holder, not to mention a bitter rivalry that goes back over a decade and a bit. It began with a case of Akes and pains. The first points to be recorded occurred at approximately 3.30pm on Saturday when Sardine's Smith did himself a mischief while trying to take a free kick. He had already conceded a goal before he was stretchered, so the Fishmen slipped to minus one. Then the new Fruitcake centre back, Ake, conceded a second goal to level the scores at a negative point each. Anderson scored his fourth Fruitcake goal but a Lloris clean sheet restored parity. Somerset's strength is goals but it would be a couple of clean sheets that kept open the possibility of pursuing the grand slam. Alisson and Digne were the two players who added six points between them without any further reply from Sardine City.

Smeggers put Tosspot disappointment behind them

Strawberry Allstars 6   Smegma United 15

After losing out on the Tosspot League title during the previous week Tam Tuff knew that his team needed to start on the front foot. New signing, Gabbiadini, got them off to a great start with the first points of the JMT quarter finals. However, in a quiet Saturday afternoon for most teams nothing much happened and this allowed Strawberry Allstars to take a surprise lead with a couple of hard-earned clean sheets from Schmeichel and Alderweireld. Shutouts are the Smeggers speciality and they came roaring back with three spotless sheets of their own through van Dijk, Alonso and Azpilicueta. This was soon followed up by a Silva goal to give Tuff a commanding 15-6 lead over the Ninja. The Allstars managed assists from Jiminez and Ramsey but as soon as they had supplied the two points, the hapless duo of Shaw and Smalling let a goal in to cancel them out.

Duncity ease through to semis

John Terry's All Gold 6   Duncity United 13

The holders and only winners of the JMT put themselves on the brink of yet another knockout final appearance. Dirty Dunc's side took part in the last two Jeff Stelling Shield finals and won last season's Jillytub Memorial final after a replay. So, no doubt Duncan would claim to have been in four finals on the trot. He was up against the man without a knockout pedigree as Bugs Birney has yet to win either of the aforementioned cups or the Up Yer Clunge that came before them - and it's not going to happen this season. It took a while to get going but Fraser assisted to put Duncity 2-0 up. A Salah goal made it 5-0 but Shaqiri's goal brought it back to two points difference. Gomez reasserted Duncity's dominance with a clean sheet before Kepa the Keeper kept one clean himself to reduce the deficit. After that it was all one-way traffic with Silva grabbing two assists and Aguero scoring a goal. Dirty Dunc was able to absorb Lindelof's minus two points to keep his fantastic cup record intact.

Somerset hold off late C NUT rally in thriller

C NUT FC 17   Somerset Fruitcakes 19

An Eden Hazard hat-trick put Somerset Fruitcakes into a commanding position but a south coast inspired fightback almost handed C NUT an unlikely victory. In addition to the Belgian midfield players three goals, Jimmy Maddison and Raheem Sterling also scored to put plenty of breathing space between the Fruitcakes and C NUT. With the score at 19-12 going into the last game and Jannik Vestergaard's clean sheet looking as likely as Cookie drinking three pints to everyone else's one, it was looking like a Fruitcake landslide.

But two goals in a minute almost turned this game in its head. Danny Ings nervously slotted home a penalty after he himself had been legged over to reduce the arrears to 22-15. Then seconds later Anthony Knockaert provided an assist that sullied Vestergaard's clean sheet to close the gap to just two points. Anything could have happened in the closing minutes as Knockaert pulled the strings but the Fruitcakes hung on to qualify for the quarter finals.

All Gold take Shankers by surprise

Armitage Shankers 5   John Terry's All Gold 7

The two most successful managers in SSPA history found themselves pitched against each other in this first round tussle. Bunny and Pipodopolos are also embroiled in the battle for the Woodenspoon in the SSPA so this game took on added importance. Armitage's new signing, Georginio Wijnaldum, rejoined the club for a second time and powered home a header to open the scoring in this tie. Wilf Zaha added a goal and Fernandinho assisted to put Shankers, seemingly, into the quarter finals. There was a disturbance in the force as Ben Chilwell, newly signed a week earlier, conceded four goals but Pip was still confident of victory.

Sunday though, was a different day. Unlikely as it seems, Gylfi Sigurdsson and Andy Yarmolenko produced nine points between them while Jordan Pickford looked far removed from the England hero he was, as he conceded two goals, at home, to West Ham. This tilted the game in Bunny's favour but Plastic Bertrand and Glenn Murray almost gave Pip a Get Out of Jail Free card but it wasn't to be.