Onion Bag Cup

Extraordinary turnaround in the OBC

In the preview to the final weekend of the group stage of the goals-only competition we said it was "complicated stuff" in Group A. Well, it turned out to be remarkable stuff as one of the finest performances in Onion Bag history saw the 2018 runner up qualify for the semi final along with last year's bridesmaid.

Wet Fish

Smegma United had qualification firmly in their own hands - a win would do it despite what the other teams did. C NUT just required a decent victory over the Smeggers in the final game while Sardine City needed to hand out a thrashing to Taxbore Wanderers and keep their fins crossed. Guess what happened! Well, Kevin De Bruyne set the ball rolling with an early goal to put the Fishy Ones one up against the Taxbores at a wet Fish Lane. Then Marcos Alonso doubled Sardine's advantage before Enda Stevens' top corner rocket both pleased and upset LG. Pressure at its finest from Sardine City then. With the aquatic crowd beginning to excited at the prospect of an unlikely progression to the semi finals news of a Jay Rodriguez goal burst their bubbles. That goal had put Tam Tuff in the lead at Gash Lane and the Smeggers were in front for 26 minutes before Dwight McNeil levelled for Cookie.

Cool Cod

The next goal to come in this three-goal tussle was from Gabriel Jesus to put C NUT 2-1 to the good and with a superior goal difference to Sardine, Cookie must have been fairly confident of qualification. However, that's before Diogo José Teixeira da Silva (Jota to the lay person) put his boots on. The Portuguese boy scored two goals in 11 minutes to put Sardine City five up. When Tony Martial made it 6-0 to City the goal difference had swung dramatically in Sardine's favour. As cool as a cod that lives in the Arctic Ocean, Sardine, now with a three-goal advantage over Cookie, decided the job was done and left out both Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison. This was almost a *major error as Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored a late brace to extend C NUT's lead over a demoralised Smegma United to 4-1. Cookie required two more goals to overhaul Sardine but they didn't come.

Dishwater

It was dull as dishwater in Group B as the Birney derby ended goalless in a game reminiscent of the Disgrace of Gijón when Austria and West Germany constructed a draw to ensure they both qualified for the knockout stages of the 1982 World Cup. However, the victims of this terrible act, Strawberry Allstars, failed to register a goal and succumbed to a venomous strike by Raúl Jiménez  from all of 15cm as the Shankers escaped the group's bottom place at the expense of their opponents.

*Both players scored a goal each.